Yoga — Gratitude

I can’t believe it’s been 4 weeks since I last wrote a post! I knew I’d be busy with family and friends, enjoying everything I’d missed this last year about life back home, but it’s been eye opening to realize that I’ve hardly had a free moment for myself now that I’m pretty much on my own with The Gents. And when I do have a moment, I do yoga...and I may have gotten my nails done a couple times! As I have said before, everyone’s definition of self-care changes with life events. :) Next up is finding more time for writing, and then drawing. I really hope it will come, but I’m not putting too much pressure on myself. I’m just enjoying our time here, appreciating each day, and reflecting.

During this time a number of my beliefs have been reinforced:

– America, even with its current short-comings, is still the greatest country in the world

– Adjustments are hard, but life changes are ever harder – exponentially so for toddlers

– Stay at home Mamas, with NO help, have such a tough job

I’ve mentioned this before in reference to my time living in London and since we’ve been in Riyadh, but the United States really IS awesome. Anyone who lives here and doesn’t recognize how precious our freedoms are, despite the many frustrations of our government, needs to spend an extended period of time outside of this country.

This may sound overly simplified and superficial, but – with its fresh air, parks, grocery stores, farmers markets, malls, ease of driving, restaurants, being able to go to church, not having to worry about being confronted by religious police for not being “properly” covered, etc. – living in the U.S. is SO much easier! I hope you all appreciate what you have and are thankful everyday being here.

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I didn’t really think about how each of these four phases of this trip – Chicago, Michigan (at my brother’s), Ann Arbor pre-delivery, and Ann Arbor post-delivery – might affect The Gents. Each of these phases is like a short-term move, and moves take time to time to settle-in and adjust to. It’s been tough on C&R.

As I’ve written before, they sense change is coming, but the last few weeks has been a lot to deal with. They’ve been in so many different environments, they’re constantly over-stimulated, their day-to-day routine is so different and now J is back in Riyadh. It’s been idyllic though, constantly around family and playing outside whenever they want. In these few weeks they’ve grown so much, especially in their communication, and I’m really proud of them.

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That being said, they’re pushing their boundaries since we’ve arrived Stateside. This is the most challenging time I’ve ever experienced with them, especially now that J is back in Riyadh. I truly feel like a stay at home mother now that we’re completely on our own during the day. I appreciate help so much more now! My patience is being tested constantly though. I just hope I can be the best Mama for them…and that they don’t put me into an early labor! Stay tuned… xo

As I was closing out one of my last posts of 2017 I mentioned that work has brought some challenges and uncertainty, that I would get into it another time. Well, the time to share is now. The short of it is that I’m not working. The Starcom Riyadh regrettably office lost its’ primary client. The GM had to make some tough decisions to reorganize staff in Riyadh and Jeddah offices and, for now, they can’t afford to keep me on.

Yes, I’m bummed. I really enjoyed working with this group of people and learning so much the last five months. It was truly a unique experience and I’m so grateful I was able to do it. I’m not worried though. Things ALWAYS have a way of working out. I’ve contacted some people who are looking out for me. Who knows? We may win a new client any day now and I may get called back into the office. In the meantime, I'm continuing to get comfortable in "unknown" and doing what's my control. The silver lining is that I’m home with The Gents. There is nothing negative about any of this!

Our nanny went back to the Philippines for the month to be with her father as he just had eye surgery. We have someone who comes during the day, but definitely not a live-in. I will admit, I’ve gotten a little spoiled having a live-in nanny. I’ve had someone to get up with C&R in the morning while i get ready, I can come and go as I need for work or class, I workout with J in the evenings, we can go out for dinner or hang out with friends sans children, etc. It’s idyllic. Most parents should be so fortunate. Being here, during the week, to get up with C&R and put them to bed is a dynamic I haven’t had since we were in Virginia…and they were much younger then! I’m exhausted. On the upside, I’m getting to connect with them more during the day than I’ve been able to in quite some time. It’s awesome.

So what am I going to do with all of this free time on my hands, now that I'm not going into the office? I’m still going to treat it like I’m going to work, rather now I’m just walking upstairs to my home office. I’ve got some things planned for this time and I’m adding a couple new goals to the mix…

I’m continuing my Arabic studies. I’ve gotten through the beginners and alphabet courses, so now on to intermediary which already started this month.

I started practicing yoga at home. I’ve been taking a class at the Embassy once a week since September. Have I mentioned I can do a head stand now?! It’s amazing what one hour of yoga a week can do and my goal is do two to three hours on my own. This is in addition to my regular HIIT workouts. I have to do these on my own during the day, for the month, because I’m on C&R duty in the evenings.

What I’m going to be adding is mindfulness meditation. I try to practice being mindful in general, all day every day, bit mindfulness meditation is entirely different. It's something I tried starting years ago but just didn’t make it stick. I’m terrible at it. My mind is constantly racing. I can barely pray without distracting myself. This is going to be a challenge for me! A dear friend started a little practice though so she’s my inspiration to get going again.

Since we’ve opted not to put the Gents in school yet and they’re turning two in a month (!) it’s time to start thinking about what more we can be providing for them at home, to get a little more of structure and curriculum that they would be getting at a nursery or Montessori school. I guess I’m going to be one of those homeschooling parents. I know nothing about education so this should be interesting.

And last, but not least, I’m putting a lot of thought into MSTB – what this blog is and what I’m doing with it. Originally it was just a way to stay connected with family and friends, to keep people in the know of our life in Riyadh. It quickly became more than just that because it evolved into my personal therapeutic tool. One of my cheerleader friends gave me a really complementary pep talk recently, informing me of my creativity, gift of writing, and how MSTB can inspire other women and mothers. REALLY?! I have no idea what any of that could be, but I’m going to push myself to hone in on that and pray something good comes from the process! Wish me luck.

So that’s about it. Cheers to getting 2018 started. If I’ve learned anything it’s that I can only grow when I’m pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I hope you’re all as excited and pushing yourselves to do something new and scary, too! xo